Wipe My Hands Clean

But now it's easy, getting easier, to leave you and this town behind
I'll do some traveling
Once I'm gone tell all our friends you got even

-Conor Oberst ~ Spent On Rainy Days-

This is the rarest of my songs in one sense: it came out of nothing. While in college I'm sure there were Catholic girls who wanted nothing to do with me, I can think of several off the top of me head, and yes, there were several people who thought that my lifestyle would surely lead me to hell, but none of these people were directly responsible for the creation of this song. 

I think this song may stem from my own personal desire for acceptance, and the struggles that I, and presumably all but the most charming of people, go through to gain that acceptance of others. One of the most frustrating, and universal, experiences that individuals go through in their youth, and I expect adult life as well, is trying to get the acceptance of someone who simply refuses to grant it. This can be a physical attraction to someone who has a great personality difference with you, thus rendering a relationship impossible, or as simple as trying to befriend someone who refuses to accept your attempts.

While I did author this song, I've never been that good at self-analyzing, so I'll leave the majority of that task to the psychologists and, more importantly, the poets.

Sisters of mercy
Don’t pay me no more mind
I paid all my dues
And yes I paid them all on time
But catholic girls wipe their hands
Clean of me

So I’m sitting here alone again 
And drinking to you 
My heart is knotted up again
I’m tangled up in blue
I think of what we had
And I wipe my hands clean of me

Oh they’re liars, sinners, thieves, and cheats
They’re preaching from their pulpits oh they’re bullying me
They say I’ll go to hell
So I wipe my hands clean of me

And I pick up the paper in the morning
I read stories of bombings and killings and crying mothers
And all the signs say hurray for our side
I look up at the sky
And I wipe my hands clean again

So I welcome the warmth of a summer rain
Wash away my sins, make me whole again
But they keep telling me my hands are dirty
I guess I’m guilty by complacency

I see the water starting to rise
And the sun is getting hot
I’m like a child trapped in terror
But no mercy do I got
So I pack up all my love
And wipe my hands clean of me

Now there are actors on the stage
Growing pride from fields of lies
They say it’s just a game
But I see the heartache in their eyes
The crowd just walks away
And I wipe my hands clean of me

I’ve been takin you for granted
Like a sunrise on the beach
Too hungover to notice
That it’s my happiness you leach
So I slink away in shame
And I wipe my hands clean of me

You tried to teach me everything
The way the world clicks
But broken hearts and broken minds
Don’t take to tampering
The combination got erased
When I wiped my hands clean of me

So I welcome the warmth of a summer rain
Wash away my sins, make me whole again
But they keep telling me my hands are dirty
I guess I’m struggling with normalcy